Rho

I want to write about all that’s happened over the last month and a half, but I’m not really sure where to start. There’s so much to say, it feels overwhelming. I suppose I’ll just pick a spot and start there, since what I have to say will likely span several blogs over the next little while.

In mid-November I found myself in Oxford, Michigan after, to borrow from Lemony Snicket, a series of unfortunate events (said events could be an entire novel in and of themselves, but I would rather not get into that just now). Jason and I needed some emergency shelter, and Jason knows a woman there, Deanne Bednar, who runs The Strawbale Studio. Jason had told me a lot about the Strawbale Studio and I desperately wanted to see it for myself.

It was even more beautiful and magical than I could have imagined. But even above The Strawbale Studio itself, the most magical part of being in Michigan was the plethora of experiences I had in the four short days we were there.

Again, I’m struggling with where to start.

By the time we got there, Jason and I had been driving for some 32 hours, through all kinds of weather. I was given a very quick tour of the house (not the Strawbale Studio), some tea, a mason jar filled with boiling water to warm the ohmygodcomfy bed we were to sleep in, and some quiet, quick conversation before I passed out.

The next morning, Jason and I had to drive into Detroit to return our car rental and pick up a more local one. Now, until the visit to the Strawbale Studio, I had never been to Michigan before, let alone Detroit. I had heard lots of not-so-nice things about Detroit, coming from an area of Ontario that’s not very far from it. But all those mean things that were said about it were wrong. Granted, I didn’t spend much time there, but from what I gathered Detroit is a city with much character. It’s a city I really do want to visit properly someday soon.

Anyway, we got back to the Strawbale Studio, and moved our base of operations (that is to say, where we were going to sleep) out to what is known as the Red Shed because there was going to be a workshop that weekend and the people coming needed the beds in the main house. 

In the Red Shed is The Rocket Stove. A rocket stove is a specially designed wood burning stove that uses the air flow to create maximum heat. It’s really efficient in that the heat doesn’t get lost. The air travels through pipes that are embedded in a mass (in this case, an earthen bench) to heat up that mass so that the heat stays longer. As I just mentioned, the Rocket Stove is attached to a bench. For the next two nights, Jason and I slept in sleeping bags on that earthen bench which had been heated to roughly 83 degrees farenheit. A lovely, cozy sleeping area when it was mighty cold outside. 

Even though we were only visitors, Deanne allowed Jason and I to participate in the workshop. Jason had learned all the stuff before when he interned at the Strawbale Studio, but he still enjoyed himself. I got to learn how to make cob and how to apply it to walls. Yep, I got to smear mud (and sometimes manure) onto the inside walls of someone’s house and I didn’t get in trouble for it! Jason and I even made a little spiral sun design around a light switch.

One evening, Jason and I made pizza for all the workshop participants. They loved it! That night a man named Jim MacDonald also stopped by. He’s an herbalist, and a musician. He played all sorts of neat instruments while Jason and I cooked and the others played cards or had conversations. He also made an awesome stir fry that I’d love to try again.

The third day we were there, Jason took me to Upland Hills Ecological Awareness Center for a sweat lodge. I’m not going to say too much about the sweat lodge right now because I want to devote a lot of space and energy to that subject, and I just don’t have the will to do that right now. Suffice to say, it was a life changing experience for me. It was one of the most purifying, beautiful, and spiritual experiences of my life and I strongly suggest everyone do it at least once in their lifetime. I was petrified going in, but now I can’t wait to go to another one.

When Jason and I got back from the sweat lodge, the participants of the workshop had gone home. It gave me a bit of time to start to get to know Deanne better. She reminds me very much of my high school art teacher, Mrs. Beckley. Their handwriting is even exactly the same! Deanne showed Jason and I how to make our own yoghurt and a lot of other things. We spent a lot of time learning about different fermented foods and other neat things from her that evening. The next morning Jason and I would have to leave for Massachusetts. Deanne packed us a paper bag of healthy, delicious food, which was incredibly generous and nice of her.

Throughout our time there, we ate pretty much nothing but organic and healthy foods. And you know what? It was all delicious. Even before the sweat lodge, my body felt like it was being purified. I’d love to eat like that more often, but it seems I lack the initiative to really get that going. That’s something I want to work on this year, and something that I think will be easier to do when Jason and I are living away from our homes again.

Also during this time, I got a tour of the Strawbale Studio. what an enchated building! Words really do fail to describe it, so I’ve included some pictures from the Strawbale Studio website below to give you an idea of what it’s like. Just imagine a fairytale cottage, multiply that by the beauty of mother nature, and you’ve got the Strawbale Studio. It’s made me even more excited for the time when Jason and I will have our own mudhouse.

The pictures aren’t uploading right now, and I’m too tired to argue with the internet. I will post them tomorrow.

 

Pi

Oh, synchronicity! I come here to write about how magical today has been for me, and find that this particular blog is to be named Pi, such a magical number! A number that never ends and never repeats.

Today… oh, today! Today I let my imagination run wild! And run savage and untameable it did! Today, I was all kinds of people in all kinds of places. I was a lady pirate captain in a gigantic ship, commanding my scallywags to fire the canons! Take down the sails! And then I was adrift in a mighty ocean, all alone, with only my raft-chair keeping me from certain doom. I watched as the sharks moved around me, and steered by them cautiously. Then just as quickly I was a fae-girl in a giant forest, hiding behind rocks and trees and conversing with my kin.

Yesterday I read a story called Grounded that renewed my sense of naturewonder, renewed my belief in the magic of the natural world. Today, at work, while I was escaping in my wonder world, I nearly began to cry because I realized so few people believe in real magic anymore. So few people see the fairies and hear the forests and feel the beat, beat, beat of the pulse of Mother Nature. It saddened me to think of what may happen when no one believes anymore; what will become of my beloved fae, the treemen and waterwomen?

I met Jason in the woods behind my apartment, and it was incredible. While I was searching for him, for those brief moments, I felt akin to the trees, like they were my brothers, and they were helping me down the steep hills, offering their arms up to me.

Such a magical day, oh yes, and I feel tomorrow may offer its own magic to me as well. Mother Nature is generous that way.

 

Omicron

There’s something sitting, almost melancholic, in my gut that’s preventing me from writing. I’m not sure exactly what it is, and I’m choosing to ignore it now, but I want to acknowledge it here in case it helps it go away, or at least explains the terrible quality of this post.

My first week at TeleTech is over and done with. It’s been pretty boring since I’m familiar with many of the programs they use from my other call centre experience. Hopefully, as we get more into the actual application of the programs as opposed to the overview of them, it will become less boring. And hey, I don’t really mind being paid $11 an hour to be bored. I’m looking forward to getting on the phones. This will be my first time as an inbound agent, so I won’t have to put up with near the abuse I’m used to as a telemarketer.

Yesterday, Jason had a surprise for me. We went down to the waterfront, found where were supposed to be, and then found out they had cancelled it and never told Jason. I’m not writing what the surprise is yet because we still plan on doing it in a couple of weeks, and I’ll write about it then. Jason was very disappointed, and I wish I could have convinced him that just being on the waterfront with him was surprise enough. After a week stuck in a windowless room, it was amazing to be on the boardwalk with my love.

I did convince him to try a beaver tail, though. I’m not 100% certain, but I think he liked it. We shared a maple and walnut flavoured one, which was delicious. It was only my second ever beaver tail, too.

As we were walking toward the visitor centre to find out what we could do, a man came up to us and asked if we were headed to the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic. We weren’t, and we told him so, but then he told us that he had found two day passes on the floor when he was in there and thought we might as well have them. We thanked him and took them because, hey, it was worth a shot. Worst case, we wouldn’t be allowed in, right? Well, they let us in! So we got to go into the museum for free (it would normally have been $8.75 plus tax each).

We talked to a parrot, and saw some really neat little boats and models of big ships. We also watched a video all about the Halifax Explosion, which was… enlightening. I’ve never known the details, but now I do and it’s incredible. I mean, it happened mainly in the North End, which is where I lived when I first moved here. Jason didn’t know that Massachusetts really helped out when it happened and so Halifax sends Boston a Christmas tree every year. It was really interesting and very sad all at the same time.

They also had a reconstruction of sailor’s quarters that you could go into. They had the sounds of waves splashing and wood creaking playing, and the lantern was swinging and the light from above was moving too, which all gave you the illusion that the boat was rocking. It made me feel like I had sea legs! It was really neat, and one of my favourite parts of the exhibitions.

Earlier in the day, Jason had done a pretty massive grocery shopping. He got everything we needed to make our own pizza from scratch! So when we got home we set to work. I was the official garlic presser! Jason made the dough, which ended up being my favourite crust ever. We had mushrooms and mozzarella and hamburger and even a bit of green pepper to put on top. It was delicious! Jason calculated it all up, and it cost maybe about $2.00 a pizza to make, and we made 3 pizzas. We’ll likely make another one tonight since we still have all the ingredients. It was so, so much fun! I’ll never order pizza or buy it from the store again. It was so fresh and amazing, and didn’t take that long to make!

Today is a lazy day. I’ve slept something like 14 hours and I could still go back to sleep, but I’m trying not to so that I can sleep well tonight. I don’t really want to do anything today, but I wouldn’t mind going down to the store to get some muffin mix or something so I can take a muffin or two with me tomorrow along with some homemade pizza. Making food with Jason is so much fun. I never knew it could be so interesting and amazing. We might get a loaf pan and just bake our bread from now on, since it’s so much cheaper and fresher!

The night before last, just before I was going to sleep, I noticed a massive bruise on my stomach. It’s one of the worst bruises I’ve ever had, and I don’t really know where it could’ve come from. I bumped my tummy into the desk at work the other day, but it didn’t even hurt, so I don’t think that’s it. It really worried me for a little while — no, really, I was scared I had ruptured something and was going to die or something. I know it sounds stupid now, but just think how you might feel if you found a massive, dark bruise on your stomach, where a lot of very vital organs are, and had no idea where it came from.

I’ve been having a lot of very strange dreams lately. I can remember, vaguely, two from last night. The first had something to do with a presentation in front of a school or class or group or something. I was helping a girl. She was doing a modern dance type thing to beautiful music (all I remember from the music is that it repeated the word “unbelievable” a few times — but no, it was not that song that goes “you’re unbelievable”), and she had large screens behind her and on the floor beneath her on which amazing images, like nature and fireworks, were being projected. I remember before she started her dance, she said something like “My presentation is on the negotiation of your virginity,” and by the end of it, I realized it very much had to do with God (which the song, and the word “unbelievable” were about — “unbelievable” in the awesome sense, not the not able to believe sense). I also remember that, in my dream, I became the girl, briefly, and I was dancing and twirling.

I also dreamed last night that I was back in high school. I was the age I am now, and I was returning for some classes, including a lot of math classes with my old algebra teacher Ms. Faber who, incidentally, is from Nova Scotia. I remember I was very bored and didn’t bother doing the work. I also remember a pyramid-like structure with a cube on top, but the cube is a bit distorted, like it has an extra side or something. I eventually went wandering through the halls trying to find a more interesting class. The ceilings were very low and for some reason I felt very rushed. At one point I remember seeing a grey painted wooden door with a wrought iron slide lock on it, and feeling some kind of relief. I can still picture that door, and the view I had of it, very clearly, and I feel like it must have some kind of significance. I also feel that the Ms. Faber thing must have some kind of significance as well, as I dreamt of her once or twice when I was in her class in grade 10 (I can still remember those dreams vividly). In those dreams, I kissed her. I didn’t in this dream, though I do remember feeling something… though I can’t remember what.

That’s pretty much it from the last week. I need to go before the battery on this computer gives out.

 

Xi

I had a disturbing dream last night. My 2nd cousin David, whom I spoke with last night via IM for the first time in roughly two years, was trying to be with me sexually. I kept telling him “no” and fighting him off, but he kept trying and trying. David is much larger than me and was easily able to pin me down.

No doubt this is attached to my distrust of the men in my family. I mean, closest to me, my father abandoned my mother and me for a woman he met online. That woman’s son, my step-brother, sexually molested me. My half-brother abused my sister-in-law until she finally left, though he’s never hurt me. In my more extended family, my grandfather has a history of physical and emotional abuse. The injury I inflicted on myself during high school was a direct result of the pressure he put on me and the unreasonable expectations he had of me. My uncle Nick abused his first wife until she finally left. My uncle Steve was sexist and didn’t care that his first wife had an eating disorder. I’ve always been afraid of my uncle Wayne. Ever since I was very small, he struck me as a pedophile. My uncle Ken refuses to come to any family functions, and when he does, my aunt cries, which worries me. My two cousins Zach and Nolan are so aggressive and violent to the point it frightens me. That covers every male on my Dad’s side of the family.

In my dream, Jason came to my rescue. He pulled David off me and comforted me while I cried and screamed. Even in my dreams, I’ve never had anyone stand up for me before. It was an amazing feeling; even though I was so upset in my dream, I felt such love. It’s an even more amazing feeling to know, when I wake up every morning, that he would do that for me for real. I am so lucky to be so loved by a man who will never intentionally hurt me.

**Please note: As far as I know, David would never actually do such a thing. He is a very nice man.

 

Nu

Today, I shook Jack Layton’s hand.

Jack Layton is like a rock star to me. He is, of course, leader of the New Democrat Party and, with any luck, new Prime Minister of Canada come October 15th. I have looked up to him as my political mentor for many, many years but only today did I finally get a chance to see him at a rally and shake his hand. Jason and I were front row centre as he gave his speech, which I wish all of Canada could have heard. He’s such a dynamic and personal speaker. At the same time as I felt like, yes! This man needs to be the next Prime Minister! I also felt like he was a close family friend, making little jokes with us. He spoke with such passion and conviction and confidence — things I can’t honestly say I’ve heard or felt from any of the other Federal candidates. Well, except for maybe Gilles Duceppe, whom I would love and support if it weren’t for the whole separatism thing. Did anyone see him on the Leaders Debate last Thursday? “Well, I know I won’t be Prime Minister, but I also know that three of you won’t be Prime Minister either.” Anyway, back to Layton (who, by the way, totally rocked the Debate). It was such an honour and privilege to finally shake the hand of the man who is going to change Canada for the better. He’s a lot shorter in person than I though he would be.

After the Rally 4 Change, Jason and I went to Alexandra’s for poutine, which was out of this world. The last time we had it there, i was unimpressed. I mean, it was good, but Alexandra’s had been voted the best poutine in town and I just didn’t understand why. They used a different gravy this time and it was fantastic. We also found out that they have a location in Fairview, where I live, so we may be able to get the “best poutine in the city” delivered right to my door sometime. Though I think Fairview Pizza has really great poutine as well.

Then we went to the library where I picked up the movies Hook (which Jason and I have been dying to see together), and Wallace and Gromit. Jason grabbed a book called Jewish Literacy, which looks very interesting.

We’d been talking about going on Fred since Jason got here originally in February. Fred is a local bus that takes you to all the major site-seeing areas of Halifax: The Citadel, Pier 21, the Public Gardens, etc. It’s also free (Fred stands for Free Rides Everywhere Downtown). We got one of the buses without a tour guide, which was unfortunate, but it was still fun. There was a woman on the bus from Rhode Island, and when Jason mentioned he was from Massachusetts, she’d heard of Oxford! It really is a small world we live in.

After our ride on Fred, we grabbed our bikes again and headed for Veritas, a Catholic bookstore on Barrington St. Christian bookstores always have a way of making me feel like I should be a better person, though not in a condemning way. I wouldn’t mind learning more about the Saints. It reminded of when I was fairly religious and read a devotional Bible every day. I almost miss that sort of commitment, but I’ll write about that in my other blog.

After that, we decided to head home. We always have to climb the giant hill on Frederick Ave, but today we decided to go up a different street, Central Ave, that ended up being significantly more shallow. I had to stop for a few minutes half way up because my stomach wasn’t feeling very good. While I was sitting there for a minute, Jason and I played basketball by throwing some very small rocks into the tiny holes of a manhole. I tried to explain to Jason that that was one of the reasons I loved him so much: I can just sit there chucking rocks around and still have an amazing time with him.

We had a bit of a nap when we got home because we slept oddly last night. We just woke a little while ago, and I made Jason some French toast. I love this boy with all my heart, and I can’t wait to spend my whole life with him.

 

Mu

Today is the 48th anniversary of the creation of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. It was founded by Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela, and has since been joined by Algeria, Angola, Ecuador, Indonesia, Libya, Nigeria, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates. In honour of this significant anniversary, I offer up an open letter letter to the general population of the United States of America.

Dear Citizens of the United States of America,

Please stop complaining about your gas prices. Your country was the one that began the War on Iraq (hereafter referred to as the War for Oil), and yet your country pays the least amount of money for your gas. Since the War for Oil began, you complain of your gas prices soaring outrageously. How outrageous is it that countries who went into this War for Oil basically because they either felt a kind of loyalty to the United States, or because they were afraid of the repercussions of not joining the War for Oil (Bush is a very scary man with a lot of power) are paying more than the country that started this whole mess?

The average gas price in the USA today is somewhere between $3.64 and $4.10 per gallon. Average gas prices in Canada today are somewhere between $1.35 and and $1.47 a litre. 1 gallon is equal to 3.785 litres, so, in terms of gallons, Canadians are paying somewhere between $5.11 and $5.56 per gallon in Canadian dollars. Further to that, to put that in United States Dollars means that Canadians pay a final price of $4.76 to $5.18 USD per gallon. In the United Kingdom right now, the average price for gas is between £1.06 and £1.25 per litre. To follow that through the same calculations and conversions as above means that Brits are paying somewhere between $7.17 and $8.46 USD per gallon.

The southern coast of the United States is getting hit pretty hard by hurricanes and such right now, which has made gas prices even worse in the States. I don’t and never will understand how the government and major oil companies can justify skyrocketing gas prices due to natural disasters that occur in the United States when 60% of oil used by Americans comes from outside of America. Hurricane Ike isn’t hitting Iraq right now. Also, I would love to know why, when the hurricanes are effecting the southern and middle part of the United States, my gas prices as a person living in Eastern Canada are shooting up as well.

So please, America, stop complaining so much about your gas prices. You have it easiest of all the major countries involved in the War for Oil. I don’t blame everyday citizens for this constant whining about prices; I blame the government for misinforming the public and making them think they have it so horrible, trying to deflect from issues that matter more. They are merely trying to create further problems so as to distract the American public from what is really going on and what they should really be paying attention to, like the actual War for Oil itself instead of just its byproducts.

Sincerely,

Amy R.

 

Lambda

“We are living on this planet as if we had another one to go to.” – Terri Swearingen

Recently, it’s like a fire was lit under the concerned global citizen part of my soul. Since high school, when I co-founded an activism group called HEAR — Humanitarians for Environmental and Animal Rights — I’ve been concerned about the environment — especially climate change — and the hell-in-a-hand-basket direction we’ve been heading in. Since hearing about the Exxon Valdez oil spill as a little girl in primary school, I’ve been concerned about the effects of us humans, our greed, and our negligence has had and will have on wildlife and the earth as a whole. But lately — especially since I met Jason, a wonderful boy who shares my views and values when it comes to our beautiful globe — there has been an extra spark. I notice more when I am being unnecessarily wasteful, I notice more when I shove a piece of cardboard into a trash bin instead of the recycle. In general, I’ve been more mindful of my global effects.

I’m not sure what, if anything, spurred this extra mindfulness on, but I’m embracing it whole-heartedly. I joined the forums at TheEnvironmentSite.Org, and yesterday I began reading Climate Change Begins at Home by Dave Reay. I’ve been recycling more often at home, which, I am ashamed to admit, was something I never used to do as it involved a trip to the apartment garage instead of just to the end of the hall for the garbage receptacle.

I feel as if I’m a pretty decent person when it comes to my carbon footprint. I bike or take public transit wherever I go (save for the very rare occasion when I rent a car, and then I always choose the most fuel efficient one). All of the light bulbs in my home are compact fluorescent, and I try to make sure they’re turned off if I’m not actually using them. I wash my hands with cold water and shower with lukewarm water so as to save as much energy as I can when it comes to heating the water. I reuse my cup a few times so that I don’t have to use as much water/dish soap to clean more dishes. I use the microwave instead of the oven when I can, and try not to waste food.

So if I’m such a green person, why does it sound like I’m justifying my behaviors? I’m not really certain. I know I’m not near as much of an energy consumer as other people around me. Everyone else in my family has at least one vehicle they drive every day, few of them recycle, and I know for sure that perfectly clean, unused water is constantly being (literally) poured down the drain while they brush their teeth. But I guess I still feel like I’m not doing enough.

In my perfect world, I would be living in an entirely self-contained, self-sustained mud home built by my own two hands (and the two hands of the boy I love). The energy needed for our home comes from the wind turbine in our backyard and the solar panels on our roof. A good 75% of the food we eat is grown in the garden we have in our yard — we can our fruits and vegetables during the harvesting season to last us through the winter — and the other 25% (likely meats and dairy) are supplied by local farmers through a community supported agriculture program. Inside our home is furniture we built ourselves out of the wood and stone we cleared from the spot on which our house was built.

What excites me most about this ideal world I have created in my head is that I know it will be a reality some day. Then, when I am watering our garden with rain water collected in a barrel from the last storm while Jason is off on a bike ride, I will be able to feel good about what I have done and am doing for the planet. I know that many argue that a single person cannot change the world, cannot solve the climate crisis on their own, cannot secure the future for our children and our children’s children. To them I offer this quote:

“Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.” – Edmund Burke

 

Kappa

Tidal bore rafting on the Shubie River

Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my entire life. For my birthday (which was on Thursday), Jason took me to the Shubenacadie River to do a special kind of whitewater rafting called tidal bore rafting. You’re in a raft with a motor, and you don’t have paddles, and instead of going down rapids and such, you’re going against the tide and the waves the tide creates. It was so much fun!

Jason and I sat at the front of the boat, of course. At one point I joked with Jason that I was so soaked I couldn’t even feel the water hitting me anymore, so the guide turned the boat in such a way that the next wave hit me especially hard and I got absolutely drenched! Then he said, “Can you feel it now?” We had such a great guide, we were laughing the whole time. At another point, we hit like a water bump thing, and Jason and I went flying into the air and came down in the middle of the boat. When I came down, my foot landed on Jason right “where it counts,” but he tells me it didn’t hurt that much. Maybe the adrenaline and everything helped out there. We laughed so hard, and so did everyone in he boat. The guide later told me that I took the award for highest bounce of the season!

We were all sitting along the edge of the boat hanging on to handles, and a few times I thought I was going to fly right out of the boat, but I didn’t!

Part the way through, they took us up to a special spot on the river to go mud sliding! It was so much fun getting dirty and sliding down the wet clay-mud into the river. Jason tells me the mud was very much like the mud used to make mud houses, which makes me even more excited (if that’s possible) to build a mud house with him!

Along the way, we saw 3 bald eagles in their natural habitats. I’ve never seen eagles outside a zoo before. One of them even took off from the branch she was sitting on. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

When we came back to land, they had an all you can eat barbecue for us with some of the most delicious hot dogs I’ve ever tasted.

I wish I could better describe the amazing adventure and fun it was, but it’s one of those things you really must experience for yourself. I can’t wait to go again, and to go traditional whitewater rafting.

Mud sliding into the Shubie River

Now I’d like to take you back in time to an earlier part of yesterday. While the rafting was in South Maitland, we decided to stop in Shubenacadie and see the sights there. There was a wildlife park, but they were a bit expensive and we didn’t have any cash on us, and a tinsmith museum. We went on the tour of th tinsmith museum. Our guide was an elderly man who’d lived in Shubenacadie his whole life and could tell us all the stories from first-hand experience. He was lovely old fella! The most interesting parts of that tour were probably seeing all the old antiques, like washing machines and curling irons and some other things that Jason and I couldn’t figure out what they were, and then hearing the story of a bank robbery that the mounties were somehow involved in. I’m not certain I fully understand the story, but it’s very intriguing because it’s local history and I would love to learn more about it.

Okay, one more time we’ll go back in time. On Thursday — my actual birthday — Jason took me out to dinner at Montana’s. We had a coupon for a free appetizer, which ended up being the best spinach dip I’ve ever had in my life. It was an all-around delicious meal and I so enjoyed sharing it with Jason. That morning I had gotten breakfast in bed! French toast! Yum yum! And I was able to spend the day being completely lazy.

On Friday, Jason and I baked cupcakes. I called them earthcakes because we dyed them blue, but the top of the cupcake was a greenish colour and then they had brown icing. They were delicious!

I quit my job on Tuesday. I realized it was severely overwhelming me and making it difficult for me to do the fun things I want to do with Jason. It was sapping all of my energy so that I didn’t want to go biking anymore, didn’t want to go down to the meditation instruction, didn’t want to do anything, basically.

Jason got a transcription job with Howie Jacobson, author of AdWords for Dummies, which is an amazing story in and of itself. We bought AdWords for Dummies because we wanted to learn how to use AdWords effectively so that we could drum up some more business, and it came with a $25 gift certificate for AdWords. There was a survey thing you could fill out and potentially win a meeting with Howie Jacobson — which normally would cost $250 for 20 minutes — so Jason filled it out. Well, Howie e-mailed Jason saying he had looked over his survey and that he was looking for a transcriptionist for some of his teleclasses and other stuff! So Jason explained how we work, and Howie wants us to transcribe for him! This means, not only to we have a client who is going to pay well, but we’ll likely be transcribing the teleclasses on AdWords, so we’ll be able to learn everything, too! Amazing! It seems like things are certainly coming together.

Jason is returning our car rental right now, and when he gets home I think we’ll both have a nap. We’re both sore and still tired from yesterday, but oh man, was it so worth it. I’m pretty sure this was the best birthday I’ve ever had.

 

Iota

I have been feeling so mentally exhausted lately. I don’t remember feeling this overworked since Scotland, where I was working four 12-hour shifts a week. The shift I mentioned in my last blog ended up lasting 11 hours — something I would of not signed up for had I known it was a possibility. I barely have the energy to write this blog, but I wanted to get some stuff out and this felt like the best way to do it this time. I don’t have much time, though, since I work again tomorrow and need to be asleep very soon.

I didn’t think it was affecting me as much as it now seems to be. I knew I was coming home tired, but just this evening Jason pointed out that it seems like all I want to do when I get home is fiddle on the computer. I should be spending time with him. But when I get home, I feel so drained that everything besides watching TV and playing around on the Internet seems like it will take too much brain power. Luckily, this is a temp job that will only last three more weeks. I can handle almost anything if I know there will be an end to it. And all of this is going to such a good cause — our travelling and having fun.

Jason has been working a lot lately, too. I worry for his wrists, and his mental state. I’m worried he’s so concerned about saving money for our fun that he’ll work himself to the point that he injures himself badly again. I would rather wait a few more weeks so he can take it easy on himself than go sooner at the expense of his health.

Things at work should die down soon anyway. Right now it’s crazy because school is about to begin and we have all the new students and whatnot to get IDs for. I figure by the end of this week, things shouldn’t be so hectic, and maybe that will help with the overworked feeling I keep getting when I get home.

I think I might start doing something like meditation during the half hour I get for lunch to help clear my head. It only takes me about five or ten minutes to eat, so I could have a good 20 minutes of meditation. I take my clock with me to work everyday anyway, so I would even have a timer. i would just need to find somewhere quiet to do it if possible. I wonder if there’s any such thing as open-eyed meditation? If I can’t find a quiet spot to do it in, I wouldn’t mind meditating in the lunch room, except that people would see my eyes closed and think I was crazy or something.

Less than a week now until we go whitewater rafting. I’m so excited, and I feel so bad that Jason can’t tell how excited I am because I’m so mentally tired when I’m around him because of work. I really am so excited about this adventure. I can’t believe I get to share it with someone I love so much! We made all the reservations today and everything. We’re going to have a blast.

I hate that I’ve become so exhausted that I’m reading about conspiracy theories in my spare time instead of doing more research into Buddhism and whatnot. I’ve opted for the fast, cheap thrill amusement roller coaster instead of the long-haul but enlightening and insightful educational program. I can’t wait until I’ve adjusted well enough to this kind of work week that I can get back into things I enjoy that are intellectually stimulating. It doesn’t help that I only had the one day off, either. I’m sure things will be better once I get a full weekend in me.

I started reading Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne yesterday. I’m only a little over 60 pages in, but I think I’m going to like this book very much. It could end up being a favourite, depending on how it goes. I really like Verne’s writing style, and the story is quite interesting so far.

Hopefully on Wednesday after work Jason and I can attend a free meditation instruction class at the Shambala Centre. It’s quite close to where I work and I think it would be neat if we could make a weekly habit of it or something. I really would like to figure out a way to meditate more often. I think it would help me a lot in my aim to de-stress and get more focused. I mean, I love being a Renaissance Soul and having all sorts of focuses, but this just feels like chaos in my brain. Something needs to quiet down and centre. Meditation would really help with that, I think. I hope.

Apologies for this blog jumping all over the place. It’s all stream-of-consciousness because I don’t have the energy to edit and whatnot. I suppose I should probably think about sleeping, then. I want to get ready for bed and just lie down in Jason’s arms and sleep right through until next Saturday, only somehow still get paid for the job. I don’t mean to sound so whiney. I am lucky to have a job, and most of the time I enjoy it, and I don’t intend to quit. Not yet, anyway. I just needed to get some stuff out.

Nighty night, folks.

 

Theta

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I’ve been busy working as a temp for Dalhousie University. I issue DalCards, which are the student IDs and bus passes. When I get home in the evening, I just want to spend my time with Jason before I have to sleep. Normally I work from 9 – 4:30, but today they want me in from 12:30 – 8:30, so I have some time to think and write. Today will be day 5 of 12 days in a row working. Hey, it’s extra money.

Today is our 6 month anniversary. I can’t believe it, really. And right now I am so perfectly happy, it doesn’t feel like any of this can be real. I wish I had more to say about it, but every time I think about the fact that Jason and I have been together every single day for the last 6 months, I feel giddy and my mind can’t focus on a single thing.

I’ve been reading Jason’s account as an intern at the Strawbale Studio in Oxford, Michigan and it’s made me desperately want to visit there. I know we’re going to go there someday, but I want to go now! Jason and I have some pretty awesome plans coming up — whitewater rafting, visiting Latin America, etc. — but I want so much to experience the things he has written about that I’m almost willing to put everything on hold. He writes so beautifully and clearly. I am envious of his ability to express himself with words. I’ve never been able to write quite like he can.

Hm. I’m a little bit tired. I may take a nap before I have to think about heading to work. That would be nice. And maybe have some tea when I wake up.

6 months. 6 months. I can’t wait to spend forever with him.